I want you to have the best Valentine’s Day ever this year! V-Day is about connection, love, and happiness. There are a million ways to celebrate with the people around you, so I thought I would put together a few resources that could help open the door for deeper connection with your partner.
* Pro-tip: Try not to put too much pressure on the day to be perfect. The most important thing is to have fun, spread love, and relax.
Offer your partner the gift of connection
This may be out of your comfort zone – and that’s OK! If you struggle to express your feelings or need some help getting started, there are so many resources out there for you.
- Offer to sign up for couples counseling so that you can work with your partner to become better at communicating. Remember: your relationship doesn’t need to be in utter turmoil before you seek help. It’s always better to learn skills that will improve your overall relationship satisfaction BEFORE your relationship is in distress.
- Consider downloading the card deck app by John and Julie Gottman. John and Julie Gottman are psychologists and relationship researchers who are best known for their work on the study of marital stability and divorce prediction. They are the co-founders of The Gottman Institute, which is dedicated to helping couples strengthen their relationships through research-based principles and techniques. The couple has published numerous books and articles on the subject and are considered experts in the field of couples therapy and relationship research. The Gottman’s created these card decks to help couples ask the questions that lead to greater emotional intimacy.
- Take a trip down memory lane with your partner! Talk about what you loved about one another when you first met, reminisce on your favorite memories together, and get specific on reasons why you love them present-day.
- If it’s not stressful, spend time talking about the future of your relationship. How you want to evolve with your partner is one of the most romantic conversations you can have.
Plan an activity that will make your partner feel loved
You probably know your partner better than anyone! But sometimes when we plan something that is intended to show love to our partner, we forget that everyone gives and receives love in different ways. I love using the concept of the five love languages to help couples figure out the best way to love one another. According to Dr. Gary Chapman’s book “The 5 Love Languages”, the 5 love languages are:
- Words of Affirmation: Expressing love and appreciation through words, either spoken or written.
- Quality Time: Spending undivided attention and time with loved ones.
- Receiving Gifts: Giving and receiving gifts as a symbol of love and thoughtfulness.
- Acts of Service: Showing love through actions that meet the needs of others.
- Physical Touch: Expressing love and affection through physical touch, such as hugs and holding hands.
Each person has a primary love language, which is the way they feel most loved and appreciated. When you can understand and speak someone’s love language, it can help improve communication and strengthen your relationship!
What if I don’t have a partner?
Regardless of if you’re spending the day with a partner, make a plan! Valentines day can be fun and relaxing even if you aren’t romantically attached. This is an opportunity to spread love around like wildfire. Here are some examples of what you can do if you’re single this year:
- Host a party for other singles. Decorate valentines day themed cookies, watch a good movie, or host a cooking class.. When I say the opportunities are endless, I really mean it!
- Write notes of appreciation to the people who make your life great!
- Reflect on the season of singleness in your life. How has it enabled you to pursue your career, or pour into your friendships? Have you had the opportunity to organize your schedule in a way that feels perfect to you? Do you feel more free to travel?
- You may be sad that you don’t have a partner to spend the day with. Give yourself space and time to process through those emotions. Allow yourself to feel all the feelings, and remember that you’re not alone. Then, if it feels like it would be helpful, reach out to someone who might understand so that you can talk to them about it.
What else will you do this year to make this the best valentines day you’ve ever had?